Local artist's inability to sell art definitely someone else's fault

ASHEVILLE, MONDAY - Watching hundreds of other local artists earn six-figure salaries has made it that much harder for 22-year-old expressionist painter David Faraca to continue plying away at his craft, knowing full well that a city-wide conspiracy to make him work for a living is preventing his commercial artistic success.

“All I want to do is make my art and live the high life,” Faraca said while taking a break during a recent Sunday afternoon spent pacing up and down a city sidewalk cussing at gallery owners through their storefront windows.

Since moving to Asheville several months ago, Faraca has picked up painting but has had trouble selling his work to the masses.

“Why are all these sheeple working against me?” Faraca said. “It is my constitutional right to make a living selling my art in a small city in an economically depressed region of the Southern United States.”

Faraca has a theory that explains his troubles thus far.

“The problem, as I see it, is that nobody has any taste whatsoever for good art,” said the victim. “And how do I know this? Well, even a blind man could see that nobody is buying my art.”

The market for locally produced art has shifted dramatically, according to one gallery owner.

“Five, six years ago, everybody in Asheville worked their tails off - I'm talking overtime, weekends and holidays - so they could afford to buy art from pretentious street urchins,” said the gallery owner. “Now, for the first time in history, people expect you to starve for your art instead of receiving the stacks of cash you deserve for bravely referring to yourself at all times as an artist in any social situation. It's absurd.”

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