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 Tourists disappointed to discover that Asheville is a city, not a theme park After being snubbed by local retail workers, tourists Bob and Mimi Montgomery realized they were actually visiting a city and not a theme park, as they had been led to believe on the Asheville trolley tour. “We found that many of the downtown workers were unreceptive to our requests to use the bathroom, get directions around town and for them to educate us about Asheville’s history, altitude, average weather pattern and real estate market,” said Mimi. “All this time, we assumed Asheville was a theme park designed to cater to our every need. You see, it’s actually a city.” The Montgomery’s were not the only tourists under the impression that Asheville was a theme park. “My wife Marcie and I thought they had done such a great job of creating a city-like atmosphere, complete with police officers and ‘local characters,’” said Dan Thomas of New York. “We were appalled to learn that the employees downtown were not interested in helping us operate the parking meters or locate Biltmore Estate on the map.”
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Click Here for National News According to sources, your father is going to great lengths
to identify any semblance of achievement in your, thus-far,
poorly lived life.
According to sources, your father is going to great lengths
to identify any semblance of achievement in your, thus-far,
poorly lived life. Ever since you graduated from college with a degree in liberal arts he's been waiting for the day you'd choose a definite career path. “You've been doing your own thing for a while,” he recently said over dinner. “Do you ever think about going into any certain fields?” He was reportedly crestfallen when you replied, “I have a field, it just doesn't make me much money yet.” For the next 20 minutes or so, the conversation continued as he made every attempt to view you as something other than a complete failure, parting with a heartfelt “I'm so proud of you.”  Student suspects Army recruiter not telling him everything
Student suspects Army recruiter not telling him everything An Asheville High School senior standing in
the lunch line has reported that Army recruiter Dennis Hill,
currently deployed at the chocolate milk bin, is making a
persuasive though highly misleading case for joining the military
after graduation.  “Spending the next six years at the beach shotgunning beers with Army nurses does sound nice,” said 18-year-old Jon Myrick. “But the recruiter couldn’t pin down whether I’d be stationed in Destin or Daytona.” For his part, recruiter Hill says that new enlistees will enjoy a wide range of experiences. “You will get the soap treatment. You will proudly elephant-walk with your fellow recruits,” Hill said. “You will have the opportunity to study the tonsils of a drill sergeant and you just might get to meet your maker. Just imagine it — getting to personally meet your maker!” Although Myrick says that he is impressed by Hill’s sales pitch, he’ll probably hold off on joining the Army until he has had time to think about it while smoking dope and playing grab-ass with his friends all summer.
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SEEKING WRITERS:
Disclaimer online is looking for writers. Must be funny and love working for free. If interested Email us your writings.
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