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Check Out Our New Poorly Updated Site!
 We here at the Asheville Disclaimer are trying once again to do something - anything - with the site. It takes a lot of work to maintain a fairly crappy site with just a few links. On top of that, we are now keeping an archive of all our weekly pages published in the Mountain Xpress. That's even more work. If we are going to maintain our wake'n'bake routine and afternoon mushroom martini siestas we were going to need some extra help.
So after talking with George Washington, a phone rep in India, we are now in charge of a team of offshore web developers and writers who update our site and write all our content. Right now Ishtar Maharashtra is writing a really funny piece about the partisan election controversy in Asheville. With the money she's making from it she will be able to afford that medicine that keeps her alive.
Aadhira Santhanam a.k.a. John Smith is writing a great story about Heath Shuler. Way to go Aadhira! Looks like your family will be able to eat tonight, depending on whether you get that story in on time of course. We here at the Disclaimer are fair but strict bosses. There are fines for misspelled words and we do have a whipping policy for poorly written jokes, but nothing motivates an underpaid worker to write a funny joke than fear.
By the way, I'm not American either. My name is Sanjay Verhjini a.k.a Bob Smith. The Disclaimer Americans are making me write this and I fear for my life. If anyone can read this, please send help. They pay us nothing and make us type 18 hours a day. Who is Heath Shuler anyway? My fingers hurt. Help us!
Oh wait... Hello sir. HAHAHAHAHA! Yes, I write funny joke HAHAHAHA! Ouch! No whipping please, sir! Ouch! Mayor Bellamy? Yes, I will write a funny joke about her. Please my family is hungry. Ouch! Please stop! I will make funny picture too. HAHAHA! I love Nasheville. Ouch! Asheville! Sorry sir! Asheville!
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